Roy Bostock just called me and he says, I’ve met with the rest of the board and we think it’s best if you step down. I said, Okay, that sounds like it could be a good idea, but I think I should take some time to think about it. How about if I take a hundred days to do a review of my performance and try to gather some data about my effectiveness and then we can go over that data and try to reach some kind of consensus about where we should go next and what my role should be in order to optimize my abilities.
Roy’s like, No, see, that’s the problem. You’re indecisive. I said, Roy, I’m not indecisive, I’m thoughtful. It’s the mark of a great leader. Then I was like, Roy? Roy? Are you there? Hello? He must have hit a dead spot on the highway.
Meanwhile, much love to Kara Swisher of AllThingsD for writing up her own short list of people who should replace me as CEO of Yahoo. Sue Decker (no way), Meg Whitman (turned us down), Peter Chernin (never heard of him), Marc Andreessen (ixnay), Dan Rosensweig (turned us down) and Mark Cuban (knuckle-dragger).
Kara, sweetie, you’re a peach, you know that? How thoughtful of you to do this for us. And I love those sexy new photos of you on the AllThingsD site (like the one at right). But since you’ve gone to all the trouble to think of new CEOs for my company, I thought it might be a cool intellectual exercise to make up a list of people who could replace you at the helm of the AllThingsD empire:
* Sarah Lacy. Just like you, only younger and more abrasive.
* Jason Calacanis. All of the above. Plus, bigger boobs.
* Owen Thomas. More prolific. Not slowed down by “facts” and “reporting.”
* Marcy Simon. Hell hath no fury, right? We’d have her cover Google, 24-7.
* Robert Scoble. Top choice. Smart. Funny. Great on camera. Plus, the power of his personal brand would take the AllThingsD conference to a new level.
Oh, one more thing, Kara. From one CEO to another, while I love and respect your wonderful little blog, you might notice that for all our flaws, my company has been doing something that yours has not — namely, taking in more money than we spend. It’s called “making a profit.” Have you heard of it? I didn’t think so. Well, try doing it for a few years in a row and then get back to me with your CEO picks. Bokay? Much love. Mwah.