Dear John Lilly of Mozilla: You are a craven, hypocritical vagina, and I hope you get crabs.


So it’s like this. We’re now using Software Update to force-feed Safari onto Windows machines alongside iTunes. Legal? Absolutely. Sneaky? Not really. But John Lilly, the dude who runs Mozilla (see smarmy photo above), has got a pile of sand in his man-crack and is blasting us big-time, saying our attack strategy “borders on malware distribution practices.” Um, right. Safari is malware. Uh-huh. And the iPod is an assault rifle.

Goddammit! I friggin hate the way freetards always turn into little namby-pamby goody-two-shoes pussies whenever they face the least little bit of competition. Look. If you want the truth, check out John Paczkowski of AllThingsD, who dares to speak truth to power and dish the dirt about Mozilla’s craven attempt to smear us as bad guys when really they’re just scared of a little competition.

As Paczkowski points out, the real story here is that the Mozilla Foundation dresses itself up as a nonprofit but then runs a for-profit Mozilla Corp. that makes a frigload of money by sticking a Google search box in its browser. And now they’re freaking out because now we’re going to take some of their market share away. Capeesh? Follow the money, as Sartre once said. Another dude who’s figured this out is Larry Dignan of ZDnet. See his piece here.

Of course John Lilly, the smarmy Mozilla boy, has responded by hassling these brave, truth-telling hacks and insisting that money has nothing to do with it and Mozilla isn’t about making money it’s about changing the world and planting flowers and getting Jerry’s kids up out of those wheelchairs. Yeah. Right. You know what it means when someone says it’s not about the money? It’s about the money.

For a reality check, see this post on Valleywag about Mitchell Baker, the former head of Mozilla, making $500,000 a year for overseeing an army of freetard drones. Or see the original piece from the New York Times where Ms. Baker acknowledges the $500,000 but says it’s peanuts. And, um, Mozilla isn’t about the money. Really. See, cause they’re different. They’re all altruistic and shit. Finally, check out this very altruistic $80,000 BMW M5 with a MOZILLA license plate which may or may not be driven by Mitchell Baker or some other top Mozilla executive, according to Valleywag. I’m sure whoever drives this car will tell you that here in Silicon Valley an M5 isn’t even that cool a car, and it’s no big deal, because we’re the good guys and we don’t care about money and blah blah blah. Hoo boy. This stuff makes me madder than George Michael with an empty bag of crystal meth, as Ed Anger would say.