This is why we hate public events

Check out this video of a British reporter harassing Phil Schiller. This is exactly why I’m totally against having any kind of event where reporters can just walk up with a camera and start firing questions at us. What are we supposed to do? Just answer them? Jesus friggin Christ. What’s next? People calling up on the phone and expecting us to talk to them? Not gonna happen. Note to Katie: We really need to work on some automated system for releasing products where none of us would have to actually appear in public or speak to people outside of Apple, ever. Can’t we get going on this? I mean like just put the products in a store someplace and then send out an email to everyone in the world commanding them to shut the fuck up and buy them.

Please watch how patient and caring and open and honest our PR people are with this guy despite his absolutely horrible and utterly embarrassing behavior. Look at the effort our people make to be sure that the camera crew can do their job and get a really good detailed view of a PR person’s shirt, so that the public can get a full explanation of everything they want or need to know about our company and our products. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have such wonderful PR professionals handling events like this in such an open and honest and professional manner, especially when they’re working in the face of such adversity and hostility. Combat pay for everyone, and high marks on your performance review.