Dear Mr. Dvorak,
Naturally we in the community are wary of your intentions and will accept your application only on a probation basis until you have demonstrated to our satisfaction that you do intend to participate in good faith. Your history as a longtime user of Microsoft products obviously raises some huge red flags about you and causes us to question your intelligence. (You do realize that I went to Harvard and then almost finished a master’s degree at MIT, right?) Be aware, we are watching you and judging you. We demand your complete fealty and integrity and honor. The community is not something you just join. You have to earn your place. Step out of line and we will let you know. Meanwhile the Free Software Foundation will be sending you the complete set of rules and regulations that govern the marvelous world of freedom that I have created for you. Commit these rules to memory and abide by them at all times. First one is this: It’s not Linux, it’s GNU Linux. Okay? Now I must go pluck some knots from my hair and eat them. Welcome aboard, GNUbie.