Dear Dvorak (if that is really your name and not a false name invented by your spymasters in Redmond):
The review board of Groklaw has learned that you are applying for admission to the free software community and would like to download a version of Linux. Before you download anything we highly recommend that you schedule a ten-week re-education course at any of our labor camps which happen to be located at IBM facilities around the world even though they have no connection, absolutely none, to IBM. This is for your own benefit, because Linux, as you’ll soon learn, is not just a software program but also is a philosophy and a way of life. It’s freedom, and for many people who are coming from the Windows world this freedom can be a bit overwhelming unless you’re prepared for it and know all the rules about how to be free. Please know that our community is all about being open and honest and that because of this we are deeply suspicious of you and do not really want you in our club. Step out of line, and you’ll be marked as a troll and your comments will be erased. Once again, welcome, and enjoy the freedom. We think you’ll find it refreshing. And yes, I’m actually a dude, but don’t tell anyone.
cc: The Internet Press Guild; Steven A. Mills; Software Freedom Law Center; Trustees, UNC-Chapel Hill.