Got to be Wednesday and there was still nobody out there in line. Not sure why exactly. Bono says it’s because people in England are more sensible than Americans and aren’t going to wait in line for a phone when there’s no shortage of them. Other reason of course is that it’s friggin colder than a witch’s tit over here right now. Jesus. How do people live here? Have they never heard of California?
Anyhoo, when the lazy stupid Brits refused to line up on their own we resorted to Plan B which involved hiring people to stand on line. Naturally we were very selective and screened about fourteen thousand people in order to find fifteen who had decent teeth and who really captured our brand and expressed what we’re all about. Then we had to train them and teach them what to say. Good news is the mainstream mediatards in England totally fell for it and interviewed them and quoted them in a huge way. Bad news is some paranoid blogger types started raising suspicions. See this guy’s blog, for example. We’ve sent Moshe’s guys over to deal with him and keep him quiet so word doesn’t spread.
Meanwhile iPhone is already the fastest-selling consumer electronics device ever sold in England. Totally breaking every record for any kind of product, not just a phone. I mean the people here are demanding them. Amazing. Truly, we rock.