So I’ve been doing some journeywork and karmic repatterning with Tiffany, aka Bike Helmet Girl. Turns out that in addition to being a professional dancer with the DOUBLE VISION dance troupe of San Francisco she is also a personal trainer, yoga instructor and a spiritual guide slash therapist. And you know what? She’s amazing. I mean she’s young, but she’s got some kind of old soul. She’s totally wise and at peace, and in many ways she’s light years ahead of me in terms of enlightenment, which is weird when you consider I’ve spent more than three decades in the lifestyle. I literally began my Zen studies before she was even born. But there it is.
So lately as you know I’ve written some pretty nasty things about people who’ve hurt me by writing less-than-kind reviews of my book. See this one about CNET and this one about SF Weekly and Portfolio.com. Bikey talked to me about these last night. She says I should apologize. “As an artist,” she says, “you just have to put your work out there into the world and hope that someone connects with it. That’s all. Just be at peace with your work and with yourself. A lot of people don’t like my dancing. Remember all the mean comments on your blog about me? I don’t focus on it. I just dance, and let others respond. If someone doesn’t like your work, well, so be it. Let it go. Forgive them.”
You know what? She was right. And her comments opened a deep well of shame inside me. For what seemed like hours I lay curled up in a fetal position, sobbing, until finally Bikey lay down beside me and put her arms around me, at which point I tried to make a move on her, but she brushed me off and then I pretended it was just an accident and that I hadn’t been trying to grope her. Anyway. The point is, friends, we’re all making the journey through this life together. As the great Jethro Tull once said, We’re only dancing on this earth for a short while. People of CNET, and SF Weekly, and Portfolio.com, please accept my profound apology. I’m sorry I insulted you. Though you have slighted my work and hurt my soul with your insults, I bow to you. Namaste. I honor the place where your spirit and mine become one.
Photo by Mitchell “Maximum Mitch” Aidelbaum.