Dear John C.,
We’ve become aware of your new threat to leave your beloved Windows environment and switch to Linux or the Mac. We strongly urge you to choose Linux. For one thing, we’re well aware of your long history of dissatisfaction with the Mac. Why keep harping on it? Linux gives you a fresh new area for complaining. Lots of fucked-up aspects, plus lots of really crazy fans who are way worse than our Apple faithful and will no doubt drive your traffic through the roof every time you bait them (which we hope is often). So please, John C., give Linux a chance. You’ll love to hate it. Thank you.
Everyone at Apple