So you probably know that Palm is in tough condition these days and that they recently hired Jon Rubinstein, aka the guy who really invented the friggin iPod, to help turn things around there. See this story for example. What you might not know is that Rubinstein has been poaching away some of our best guys from the iPod and iPhone teams. What can I do? California law prohibits non-compete clauses, so the people are free to go. I’ve tried just calling up Ruby and screaming at him. Same with Ed Colligan, the Palm CEO, and anyone else who’s close to Palm. Then I tried meeting with them and being nice while also making threats. Still they keep poaching. I’ve threatened to sue them over copyright violations and patent violations, and we still might do that, though Phil Schiller (aka Mini Me) says that would just make us look scared of Palm, and we’re definitely not scared of Palm. Just pissed. I mean talk about disloyalty. In the short term I’m just deploying Moshe to mess with some heads at Palm. Slashing tires, smashing windshields, threatening notes. That kind of thing. Colligan called me last night and he was like, “Dude, I know that was you who slashed my tires, okay? So just cut the shit.” You know what I told him? I said, Don’t make me call OJ, brother. Because if you push me on this, I will. I swear to friggin God.