Another cunning strategic move by the world’s greatest CEO. Sun says they’re going to do a 1-for-4 reverse stock split, which will goose the stock price from $5 a share to $20. See here. From what I’m hearing Jonathan just learned about reverse splits last week and thought it was the coolest idea ever, especially since his bonus is tied to the stock price. Originally he wanted to do a 1-for-100 split. “We’ll be hot like Google,” is what he told his board. Lehman, the CFO, pulled him aside for a chat and explained that the company won’t really be worth more money. “It’s like in Spinal Tap, with the amp that goes to eleven,” Lehman said. “It’s not louder. It just goes to eleven.” Schwartz said he knew that, he wasn’t stupid, but he wasn’t going to sit around debating this because he’s not some wishy-washy namby-pamby wussy who needs to mull stuff over, he’s a hard-driving man of action, an executive who knows what needs to be done and makes decisions and sticks to them, and maybe that makes him unpopular but that’s what makes somebody a leader, and that’s what this company needs right now, a real, honest-to-goodness leader who dares to make the tough calls and place the big bets and take the big risks.
Word is the market is responding really well to the idea. Especially the shorts. They’re calling MLP “Nigel Tufnel.” They say he’s the gift that keeps on giving. You know what? I agree.