So Larry called last night and told me I’m the world’s biggest pussy for caving in on this iPhone rebate idea. I tried to tell him that it was secretly our plan all along and how it’s really super clever because we get to bring these iTards back into the stores all over again to spend their hundred bucks. And he’s like, Jobso, babe, it’s me you’re talking to right? It’s Larry. Your friend. Don’t spin me, pal. Okay? Nobody cuts the price on a product unless they have to. All right? It’s like Economics 101 or something. I don’t know. I didn’t finish college either. But I’m sure it’s in a textbook somewhere. Nobody cuts prices just for fun. Or just because they think it’s a cool idea. Man oh man.
I tried again to convince him that this was all part of some great master plan and that the rebate is this real stroke of marketing genius, and he’s like, Dude, you’re getting soft in your old age, you know that? Jesus. Are you really Steve Jobs or is some kind of impostor doing your job? I’m starting to think that rumor about you leaving the country and hiring a body double to play you is true. Is it?
Then Larry tells me that if we’re really going to stick with this rebate on iPhone, we ought to make up for it by announcing a retroactive price hike on the Mac Mini, and everyone who bought one of the new models that we introduced a few weeks ago is going to get their credit card billed for an extra hundred bucks because it turns out we priced the product too low and we just figured that out and sorry but it’s something we have to do. He’s like, Brilliant, right?
Just look at him up there in that photo. Smug prick. Thinks he’s so cool, right?
He was still cackling when I hung up.
(Photo by Brad Vink for Air & Space.)