Much love to the helpful readers who wrote in to inform me that (a) Bono is Irish, not Scottish; and (b) the Troubles were in Ireland, not Scotland; and (c) the six counties are not in England. Man oh man. Think of it as a Homeric nod, eh? Also, my deepest apologies to the Scots who took offense at my depiction of them as belligerent hooligans who don’t speak English. See all the very helpful comments here. Great thing about Europeans is you can always count on them to jump right in and correct your mistakes. It’s why we love doing business in Europe. Even the dumbest, least educated European is still so sophisticated and advanced compared to any American. They’re always ahead of Americans when it comes to design and style and grammar and history and knowledge of other cultures and languages. And the great thing about the Internet in general and the blogosphere in particular is that it gives these really clever Euros a place to put their cleverness on display. Anyhoo. Much love, Euros. You make this blog better by participating in it. Honestly. I mean that. I will strive to live up to your high standards.
By the way Bono himself emailed me last night to call me a jackass. He’s like, Man, we’ve been friends for wha now, like ten years or sumfin? And after all we’ve been through together, ya still don’t know where I’m from? Man oh man. I’m Irish, brother. And not just Irish but a Dubliner. And not just a Dubliner but a northsider. Go read up on your Roddy Doyle if you want to know what dat means. But put it this way. What do ya call a northsider in a suit? The defendant. Ya fooktard.
UPDATE: I’ve been informed that my correction above is itself incorrect, because the Troubles took place in Northern Ireland, not Ireland. Jesus. Who the hell is writing this blog? I’ve got to talk to Katie Cotton about this. Heads will roll, I promise.