Feminists v. Linux geeks in fight to see who can have less sense of humor

It’s a battle royale as the two most humorless and prone-to-outrage groups in the world (leaving aside Islamofascists, the perennial winners in the “easily outraged and lacking in humor” competition) duke it out to see who can be more angry about the above advertisement. Linux nerds were offended by the ad, which appeared in a Linux rag, because the gist is that, um, your average freetard doesn’t get a lot of hummer action. Soon, I’m sure, there will be some kind of online petition. Then feminists jumped in, griping here that the ad offends them too because it implies women should be giving hummers to Linux geeks. Or something. Money quote: “The misogyny is obvious, since the ad treats women explicitly and entirely like sexual objects. The themes of objectification and comparing women to machines continue throughout the smaller print …”

Here at Apple we would never compare women to machines. And we never treat women like sexual objects. Just like Linux geeks, we don’t get hummers either. Difference is that we frankly don’t care if we get hummers. We don’t need hummers, because our machines have already restored our sense of childlike wonder and enabled us to achieve a higher plane of consciousness, where hummers are unnecessary. And Leopard, just FYI, is going to be better than any hummer you’ve ever received in your life, even the ones Larry gets with three women taking turns. I so swear to God.