We have seen the gPhone, and yes, it scares us

So it’s no big secret that Google has Andy “Sidekick” Rubin and a team of ex-Apple guys working on a phone. And it’s no secret at all that Google recently bought Grand Central, a company that makes a unified messaging service for mobile phones. So we know they’re up to something. But now we’ve seen the actual phone. One of the ex-Apple guys on Rubin’s team is still on our team. For obvious reasons I can’t say who it is. They have pretty tight security at Google. And we’ve been stymied for months trying to get hold of one of these units. Finally our man managed to get a phone out of the building. Little hint on how he did it: Christopher Walken in “Pulp Fiction.” Nuff said. And this is not a small phone.

It’s the same color as the Zune, by the way, or at least that’s what we thought before we remembered to wash it off. We used it all day yesterday (wearing surgical gloves, natch) and all of us had the same reaction — this terrible mixture of being really thrilled by the technology but not wanting to be thrilled because it’s not our technology. Ultimately we all just got really bummed out. I bitched to Squirrel Boy about it (though I didn’t admit I’d seen one) and he said I shouldn’t worry because it’s not a competitor to the iPhone, it’s aimed at a completely different kind of user, blah blah. I’d almost believe him except I’ve been with him when he’s said the same thing on the phone to Gates, while making a whacking off motion with his free hand.