Look, I like the Czech Republic. I’ve had a good time in Prague. Such helpful people in all the stores, such friendly folks on the trams and buses, so welcoming and warm, so willing to offer assistance to foreigners. Never grumpy or grouchy or pissed off. It’s a nation known for hospitality, and for some great achievements. Like the Skoda. And those fantastic beers. Wonderful composers like Smetana and Janacek. Writers like Kundera, Skvorecky, Hrabal and my main man Hasek. Marina Tsvetaeva, my favorite Russian poet, wrote some of her best work in Prague. And of course I love the great Czech politicians like Vaclav Havel (who by the way loves our new MacBook Pro) and Lech Walesa, and famous emigre businessmenski like Andy Grove.
But the above video just makes me sad. It shows young Czech kids vandalizing an Apple store and covering its windows with the word “Why?” because they think our computers cost too much in the Czech Republic. Folks, if you want to see how four decades of Communism can destroy a country’s soul, look no further. A once-proud nation of beermakers and industrialists has been transformed into a nation of lazy, whingeing young people who don’t respect other people’s property and expect handouts from the West. Sorry, kids. That’s not how it works. If you really want to know why imported goods cost so much in your country, take it up with Vaclav Klaus, or maybe his interior minister, Misho Knedlik.
Or hey, better yet. Go buy one of those wonderful Czech computers that are made in your fine country. Oh wait. You don’t have any computer companies? Ty vole, I’ve got an idea. Maybe you kids should start your own computer company. You know, like sell your car and beg some money from relatives and buy some components and start putting together machines in your garage. Work your ass off, hire the best people you can find, work your ass off some more and change the world. Then, in thirty years, when you’ve created the most beautiful machines ever known to mankind, you can have some punks deface your store and gripe about you being a rapacious exploiter. That’s how the world says “Thank you.” Or should I say, “Dekuji.” Or is it “Polib mi prdel”? I always get them confused.