Al and Tipper’s argument


Like all of these things, it’s so silly how the whole thing got started. Apparently Tipper got upset during Madonna’s performance at Live Earth because Madge kept using what Tipper calls “the MF word.” (For the record, I believe what Madonna said was, “If you wanna save the planet, stand the fuck up, motherfuckers!” Which in my mind makes perfect sense.) So after the set, Tipper goes backstage and reads Madonna the riot act, saying there were kids in the audience and kids watching on TV and what kind of example is Madonna setting? Then she says Madge is going to get fined since there were riders in all the contracts prohibiting profanity and forcing performers to pay penalties if they broke the rules. Madge freaks out and starts going all Cockney on Tipper, using a fake working-class British accent and sounding like a female Ali G. Then Al gets involved and — here’s the mistake — sides with Madonna. Or, at least, agrees that there won’t be any fines levied on Her Madgesty. At which point Tipper goes nuts and tells Al he’s a drooling idiot and a ridiculous loser and how she was supposed to be first lady back in 2000 and instead here she is still schlepping around trying to get his fat ass elected and hanging out with circus freaks at rock concerts.

Yeah. Ugly. Al never went home. First he hung with Bono for a while but Bono got sick of him and “accidentally” forgot to tell Al their plane was leaving one morning, so Al got stranded in Morocco. He called me, drunk and crying, and I sent the Jobs Jet to fetch him. Now he’s with us and I have no idea when he’s leaving. Mrs. Jobs is not thrilled. More on this as it develops.