That friggin traitor Jon Ive almost got it today too. Guess he didn’t think the Jobsmeister would be coming to work on a Saturday so he figured it would be safe to have his Lenovo ThinkPad Reserve Edition delivered to his office. Wrong, sucka. Every package that comes into the building is reported to me — along with every email and phone call, in or out. I flew down to the mail room and got the Lenovo box and delivered it to Jon personally. He’s like, Gulp. He tries to tell me it’s a gift for someone else, and the initials JPI aren’t his. Then he mumbled something about how he just got it to study it and check out the competition, like it’s just some kind of research project. Whatever. I actually did fire him. But he went over my head to Jerry York, and Jerry told him he could stay. I hate when that happens. Jon Ive, I’m watching you.