It’s true. The whole vegetarian Buddhist Taoist thing is an act. I eat meat. Always have. The only person who knows is Larry. It’s like a secret addiction. I’m like one of those people who seems totally normal but spends weekends snorting heroin. Only in my case it’s meat. And I don’t snort it, I eat it, but whatever. You understand. Not even my wife knows. I use a fake name and send away for those Omaha Steaks over the Internet and have them shipped to Larry’s house. They come packed in dry ice. Larry keeps them in his freezer till I’m ready for them. I eat them over at his house. My favorite is the filet mignon wrapped in bacon. Jesus. I’m ashamed of myself. But I feel better now that I’ve admitted it.