Bono calls me, drunk off his ass

He’s over in Germany or someplace like that and says he’s furious about how things are going at the G8. First the prime minister of Germany, Angela Merkin, told him to lighten up about Africa, which really got him steamed. And as I reported yesterday he got all pissed because politicians were breaking their promises. Shocking! Then the guy who runs Canada blew him off too. He’s like, “Steve, fookin Jaysus, it’s the prime minister of fookin Canada and he’s coppin a tude wit me. With me! Can you believe it? I’m fookin Bono fookin Vox, man! Whatever. The whole thing’s a bust. I’m sitting here on me bed drinkin and feelin sorry for myself. I mean I could be out blowing lines of coke and banging teenage groupies. But I’m not. I’m here in a meeting full of arseholes trying to save the fookin world. I don’t know. Sometimes I just want to give up. I gotta hop. Adios.”

Last thing I heard before he hung up was him crying. Sad, sad stuff.