This poor suffering bastard

Put his MacBook Pro on the back of his car and drove off to work, forgetting it was there. Came back and found it had been run over by SUVs and snowplows or something. Thiw as in Alberta, which I believe is in Alaska, above the Arctic Circle, which would explain the snow. See the full sad story here. The guy also posts a closeup of the fragged MacBook. It’s dead. Sorry, pal. Tell you what though. Take it to the local Apple store and tell them I said it’s okay to give you a replacement. Have them call me if they need to. Anything to help out. Peace.