Apple faithful, I sense a disturbance in the force. I feel … fear. Worry. Anger. Faithful, put aside these negative feelings. The OS is fine. The iPhone is fine. Everything is fine. We are taking a little extra time, that’s all. I’m sure you’re receiving taunts from your Windows-loving friends talking about “OS X Leper.” I’ve been taunted too. Bill Gates just called and offered to send over a team to help us port Vista features into Leopard.
Faithful, do not lose heart. I’ve chosen the photo above to help you re-hypnotize yourselves. Look directly into my eyes, not around the eyes, but into the eyes. Now think of products. Glossy white products that cost too much money and make you feel superior to other people. Feel better? Good. Me too.