You announce a new feature to an existing product, like our “Complete My Album” feature on iTunes, and the Wall Street Journal actually writes an entire article about it. See here. But the way you know you’re really, really hot is that the Journal also teases the story on the top strap of the B1 cover section and in the “What’s News” box on A1, as if this is some huge big business announcement. Stop the presses! Apple adds new feature to iTunes!
See, the Journal may like to bust my stones on this options business, but they also know what sells papers. Put the word “Apple” anywhere on the page and people are gonna stop at the newsstand. Hey Journal? Why not just write Apple Apple Apple at the top of every page? Or change your name to the Apple Street Journal? Since you’re already making so much money off our trademark.
You know what? We’re hot, people. White hot. Zzzzzzz. Ouch! I just touched myself and burned my finger.