Fast Eddie goes bonkers


This just in from one of our competitive analysis spies who was at some Wall Street conference where Motorola was presenting. The investor dudes started grilling the shit out of Zander about how the iPhone was gonna kick Motorola’s ass and why doesn’t Motorola have an answer for the iPhone and is it true the board is trying to force him out. Finally Zander just lost it on this one young assistant analyst from Goldman and started saying, “Jesus H. Christ, the iPhone! The iPhone! Is that all anyone wants to talk about? The fucking iPhone? I guess all the rest of us should just stop making phones because Apple’s coming out with the iPhone! Right? Should we just all fold our tents and go home? Well what the fuck do you want me to do? You want me to stick these fuggin phones on my head like a pair of clown ears? Is that what you want? I’ll kick your fucking ass, punk! How old are you anyway? Huh? Twenty-five? Twenty-six? I’ve got meat in my colon that’s older than you! You know I grew up in Brooklyn, don’t you? And not some fancy pants loft in Park Slope, right? I’m tawkin da real Brooklyn.” Just a complete and total meltdown. Ed, seriously, you need help. Maybe consider going back to being a monk. You were doing so well with the anger when you were in the monastery.