Ballmer calls, all excited

He says, “Dude, I’m up here doing the Monkey Dance in my office! It’s hilarious! Haven’t you heard? Linux is dead. Hoo boy. The dopes totally fell for it. We made this deal with Novell, and sure enough Smellman and his Free Software followers all went apeshit and made this new license to try and mess up Novell’s Linux business. But the beauty is this license is so frigtarded that it’s also going to destroy Red Hat’s business too. Basically it’s going to make it impossible for anyone to use Linux. Because half of Linux will be on one license and half will be this other one and the new one is so nasty that nobody commercial can use it. Man oh man. Everyone said we’d be the ones to kill Linux but guess what, it’s Stinky Dick and his B.O. Brigade doing the dirty work for us. So who’s left? You guys and your three percent market share? Whoa, we’re shaking. Dude, we keep you around just so we can claim we have some competition. But no hard feelings right? Dude, come up here and have some cake! We’re totally going to party all week. Vista sucks, but it rules! Yay!”