Maybe you’re wondering what this a-hole’s middle initial stands for. Let me tell you. It’s “sycophant.” This obnoxious lickspittle has made an entire career, such as it is, out of telling people how he grew up near me. He’s at it again this morning on the Op-Ed page of the Wall Street Journal.
“If, like me, you grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school, interviewed him in the early days of Apple, and even wrote a book about him and his company …”
Ugh. Groan. Puke. This He-Whore does nothing but chase around rich famous execs in the Valley offering to write nice things about them and then telling everyone he meets that he’s “friends” with so-and-so.
So, um, yeah, I guess it’s nice to have this brown-nosing bootlicker calling me “iGenius” and saying that the government should leave me alone on this options stuff and that even if I were to, say, kill someone, well, they should give me a pass so I can keep making cool electronics, because I’m the greatest CEO the world has ever known, and by the way did I tell you that I grew up in the same neighborhood as Steve and we’re, like, totally friends and everything?
But I’m not sure his endorsement means very much. Because back during the dotcom bubble (the first one), while he was editing some puff-piece business mag, he was also getting rich on founders’ shares at some of the tech shops he was supposed to be covering. Slight little ethical issue there. Even in the skeevy world of computer industry hackdom this getting-rich-on-the-folks-you-cover made some stomachs queasy, from what Katie Cotton tells me.
But wait. I just thought of something. Might be I end up having to do some time on this options thing. Why not be like Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd in “Trading Places.” Heck, I’m sure Michael would do the time for me. Why not? We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school. Be a mensch, Michael. Bend over and take one for the team. It’s what you do best, after all.