The Days Before PodPhone

This poem came in via comments from our good friend “A. Musing” — not sure if he’s related to “H. Aiku” — and it is so good I want to share it with you here. (And yes, I was tempted to not post it in comments and just run it as my own and take all the credit for it. But look, I already invented the friggin iPod, all by myself. So I don’t need to steal credit for other people’s work.)

The Days before PodPhone
twas a few days past Christmas and all through the house,
Vista was waiting to hear from your mouse.

Jim Allchin retired and bought a nice Mac.
He transferred his data and didn’t look back.
Steve Ballmer had nightmares of market-share loss and wondered if next year he’d still be the boss.

The tired Vista team were asleep in their beds
while Russians with botnets built bugs in their heads.

When over at Apple there arose such a clatter
the bloggers all rushed in to see what’s the matter.
The minutes of meetings of dubious truth had pushed Apple stock prices off of the roof!

The SEC lawyers, so lively and quick
looked into the options that CEO’s nicked.

Steve Jobs used a strange phone to make many calls;
He fired some frigtards and showed his big balls!
Out Anderson!
Out Heinen!
Out anyone lacking!
You’re fired! Clear your desks out!
I’m sending you packing!

And then, in a twinkling, the RDF came.
The SEC lawyers cleared Steven Jobs name.

He showed up at Macworld in mock turtleneck
and demoed cool things to keep Vista in check.

But lastly he paused, and said ‘one more thing’
“I’m waiting for Shiller to give me a ring.”
His jeans played some Dylan
I think ‘Times a-changing’
He answered an iChat with greetings exchanging!

He slid closed the Podphone on ending the call
and said “Happy Macworld,
Happy Macworld to all!”