I’m sorry, but Borat isn’t funny

I know everybody is howling about this Borat character. People are roaming around the halls of Apple, going, “Naice,” in that doofy voice of his. Now look. I know that at a time when we all feel really threatened by Muslims, it’s kind of funny to have this goofball Muslim character with his big Hussein mustache making stupid mistakes and expressing all these backward opinions about women and Jews, and washing his face in toilet bowls and so forth. Kinda makes everyone less scared if you can reduce the person you’re afraid of to a kind of joke. Hasn’t anyone else figured out yet that this is what Borat is all about? Hey, it’s been done before. The Marx Brothers, Charlie Chaplin, even the Three Stooges. It was funny then, and maybe even necessary, but this time around it just makes me feel sad.

I suppose it’s sly that Sacha Baron Cohen masks the anti-Islamic stuff by playing up the Eastern European aspect, using the bogus Cyrillic lettering (yeah, trust me on this, those words don’t spell anything, it’s all bullshit) and the vaguely Polish-Czech words like “jagshemash” and “jankuem.” The idea I guess is to make Borat seem vaguely Russian. Cohen also gets away with a lot because he’s usually making fun of American yokels. But come on, folks. This is really raw anti-Islamic stuff. I’m shocked that nobody seems to have noticed this. Dudes, Kazakhs are Muslim. Their president is called Nursultan Nazarbayev. And yes he is most definitely a Muslim. So is a guy named Borat Sagdiyev. Think about it. Borat is a Muslim stereotype: piggish toward women, unaware of the West, anti-Semitic, crude and obnoxious. And yeah, okay, right now that’s what sells in our country. But it’s so sad, really. I look at those people standing in lines outside cinemas, waiting to go in and giggle at the dopey Muslim, and I just see a big long line of fear. Look, I’m scared too. We’re all scared that these frigtards are gonna get hold of a nuke and blow us all back into the Stone Age. Still, when I see people lining up for Borat, it makes me feel bad for our country.

I’ve been accused of some things here on this blog by people who thought I was being anti-Islamic. Well, that kind of criticism really stings, mostly because it’s just not true. I’m pretty sure we have lots of Muslims at Apple, though I’d never ask so I don’t really know. I do know we have lots of Sikhs, cause you can tell who they are with those wild turbans. Not sure whether Sikhs are Muslims or not. Anyway they’re definitely similar, and I don’t mean that in the bad way; not that there is a bad way. Whatever. Anyway, on behalf of my Muslim friends — and for the sake of your own humanity — I ask you this favor: Don’t go see this movie. Don’t give this guy your money. Don’t give in to fear. Give in to love. Do something positive this weekend. Go up to someone you don’t know and introduce yourself and say hi. If possible, go up to someone who seems foreign, someone who’s different from you, maybe someone who even scares you a little. Overcome that fear. Learn about their culture. Make a new friend. Go to the Apple store together, and admire the iPods. Heck, buy one for some immigrant kid, and makes his day. You can afford it. You know you can. Better yet, walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Try wearing a hijab for a day. Or one of those wild Sikh turbans. Go to services at a different church. Spread love, not fear. Pay it forward. Okay. Enough said. Peace out.