So Al Gore calls

And he says John Kerry’s in California and would I do some appearances with him. I’m like Dude, he’s one of the only people on the planet who’s more hated than me right now, you think I want to do that to myself? Sheesh. I got the SEC and the DOJ and the FBI crawling up my butt out here. And WTF with Kerry going around saying soldiers in Iraq are a bunch of frigtards who didn’t finish high school? Gore says, That’s taken out of context. He was talking about Bush, he was saying Bush is a frigtard. And I’m like, But wait a minute, what’s Kerry doing calling Bush a frigtard? I mean, didn’t it come out after the last election that Kerry had worse grades at Yale than Bush did? And lower scores on his military entrance exam? Isn’t he the same as Bush, just another rich moron? Al goes, No, Steve, honestly, John Kerry is a real heavyweight intellectual, he’s read all sorts of big heavy books, he’s always reading, why you should see the library he’s got in his house in Beacon Hill. So I go, Well, if he’s such an intellectual heavyweight, why’s he not in the White House? Why’d he get his ass beat by chimp boy?

Then I’m like, Um, whoops. And I start mumbling something like, Um, which is not to say that, um, you know, that winning elections is the same as being smart, which it could be, but not necessarily, and in your case, I think you actually won, didn’t you? And Gore goes, Yeah. I did. I won. Whatever, Steve. Just forget about it. Bye.

Dammit. Now I feel like a floating turd. Happy friggin Halloween.