iWant my iTV

So now you know why Sting was in town. We’re doing an ad campaign riffing on the old MTV song by Dire Straits. Message is, Just like MTV changed everything, now iTV is changing everything again. We’re gonna get some of the original veejays from the 1980s, if we can find some who aren’t living on the street and smoking crack, or weighing four hundred pounds and living in their mom’s basement. When I say we’re changing everything, I mean, literally, everything. We’re in your den, we’re in your living room. We’re everywhere. The world is changing, and we’re leading the way. You can tell I’m just really excited. Incidentally, regarding Sting, apparently he’s this big anti-television crusader, and gave us a bunch of hooey at first about not wanting to promote a TV-related product. All he’s gotta do is sing four words in that falsetto voice of his. Hell, one word is all we really need and we can splice it in. For that matter we could hire an impersonator and pay Sting nothing. Which is kind of a point I made to him, gently, while we had our heads up each other’s butts during a yoga stretch. Anyway, everybody’s got their price. Sting’s, in fact, is lower than you’d think. A lot lower. So much for commitment to causes. Like Bono told me once, “You know what Sting’s number one cause is? `Cause I need the money.’ Yer man would burn down the fookin rainforest himself if you paid him enough.”

I’m sure that’s not true. Anyway, Sting is on board. He was backstage yesterday, but he made me promise not to bring him out. That’s just the way he is. Totally self-effacing. No ego, no pretense. Peace out.