At last a reason to watch TV

True story. Once upon a time, a long time ago, we had this Russian dude named Yuri working at Apple who had an extra finger on his right hand. Like this little tiny extra thumb sticking out of the main thumb. It used to freak me the frig out. But I couldn’t not look at it, you know? I’d go into meetings and think, Don’t look at the thumb, don’t look at the thumb. Like you know it’s going to make you kinda nauseated, and you won’t be able to eat lunch afterward, but you still have to look. Well, this is how I feel about Woz going on the Colbert show tonight. He just called and told me how great he was. But come on. You know Woz. He’ll try to be funny, because he really thinks he’s hilarious, but he won’t be, because he’s really not. God I get clammy palms just imagining it. It’s going to be like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Or like watching Ricky Gervais in the original version of The Office, with those long, awful, drawn-out jokes that go way past being funny and just get really, really uncomfortable. All I can say is I hope Woz remembered to take off his helmet.

So am I gonna watch? Hell yes. I can’t not. Then we can all share a good kibbitz on it maƱana — that’s Brazilian for “tomorrow,” for those of you who don’t know. And thanks to some anonymous dude, I’m now able to put that funky Brazilian “n” thing in which I wasn’t able to do before. Much love to our readers in South America, if that’s where Brazilia is located, and I’m pretty sure it is. Free iPod to first person who tells me what this funky “n” thing is called. Peace out.