Dear Steve, Our paintball team was at Bear Creek paintball on Route 17 in Los Gatos last weekend and we were short one guy. The owner says there’s some dude out in the parking lot by himself who’s looking to join a team for the day. We said okay and in walks this nutjob dressed like a commando and talking gung-ho military, saying “ten-four” and “roger that” and “Charlie’s got us pinned down! Where’s my friggin air support?” So we figure he’s some kind of crazy ass Nam vet but whatever, he bagged more dudes by himself than all of us together, and we totally fragged the dudes from Altera, who usually kill us. So then we’re all wondering, who the hell is this masked man? He’s just sitting there cleaning his gun (yeah, he brings his own weapon, which one of our guys says is some kind of super-expensive gun made in the Czech Republic) and muttering about Bill Gates. Then as we’re out in the parking lot getting ready to go for beers, he pulls up in his Hummer, whips off his mask, and yeah, it’s McNealy. He gives us the finger and takes off, spraying dirt all over us. Guy is flat-out nuts, I swear. But as I said, he did put a lot of kills on the board.