Okay now this cat I can relate to. Jeremy Stoppelman, the CEO of Yelp, appears to be just the kind of sociopathic nouveau riche lady killer that I’ve always admired. Check out the babe he’s working on at this party. Not bad, right? Kind of a downmarket version of Meryl Streep. Even looks like she can probably string a sentence. And though she’s posing with her lips closed, I’ll bet you a signed hundred dollar bill she’s got a full-size set of teeth. Just a wild guess. What makes this even better is that there’s also a little betrayal angle here. Because not long before this, old Jeremy was making time with a certain little damsel named Sarah Lacy from BusinessWeek, who is shown getting cozy with our boy in a photograph here. Just happens that Miss Lacy was writing an article about old Jeremy at the time, though I’m sure that had nothing to do with Jeremy’s decision to hit on her. And I’m sure that poor little Sarah is feeling all hurt now. Can’t you just imagine her spotting Jeremy swapping germs with the blonde at the party and then stomping off and crying in the ladies room? But look, what does she expect? She’s a cute girl and all, in that plain-jane reporter kinda way. But she ain’t no fake Meryl Streep.
Jeremy, my man, I tell you this. Take it while you can get it. And clearly, my lad, you can get it. Seriously. From one master cocksman to another, I say: May the force be with you. And just in case you’re feeling bad about screwing over that reporter — which I seriously doubt, cause you’ve totally got that “Yeah, I’m an asshole” look — but if you are feeling a little twinge of guilt, don’t. Because just wait. In two years’ time these a-holes in the press are gonna be screwing you worse than you ever screwed them. Trust me. Maybe not even two years. Six months is more like it, based on what I’ve read about Yelp. And $3 million in venture money doesn’t last too long, especially when you’re throwing P. Diddy parties. Anyway, good luck, you big pimp. And, uh, peace.
(N.B. both of these photographs were taken by the very talented Mitchell Aidelbaum and distributed under a Creative Commons license. Here is Mitchell Aidelbaum‘s flickr account page. FSJ thanks Mitchell Aidelbaum for his fine work. We regret that when first posted this item did not include credit for Mitchell Aidelbaum.)