So Larry calls back

And he’s like, I got it. Okay? We have one of those fake Pixar movie premier parties. We do it up in San Francisco again, invite all the chiptards from the Valley and put out a red carpet and the klieg lights and the whole deal, right? We all put on tuxedos, and we hire a bunch of fake news photographers and fake paparazzi and maybe a couple hundred fake autograph hounds. The whole deal. Like we did last time, remember? Remember that blockhead McNealy walking in thinking the whole thing was for real, like there really were Unix groupies or something who were just dying for his autograph? Brother, that was rich. Honestly. So let’s do it, right? Next weekend or something. Send out invites tomorrow.

I point out to him that Pixar doesn’t have any new movies coming out right now. He says who cares about that, we’ll make it a DVD release premier, whatever, just say we’re doing a new director’s cut of Nemo with bonus crap on the disk or whatever, and you’re invited to this super exclusive premier party. I’m like, But Larry, Pixar is not making any DVD like that. We don’t have any new products right now. He goes, Steve, who gives a shit? Who cares if you actually have a product to sell? Doesn’t mean you can’t have a release party. Hell, we do this all the time at Oracle. It’s called marketing, buddy. Have you heard of it? Can’t believe I have to explain this to you of all people. Look, Steve, you know what? I’ll even pay for it. Just to get out of the friggin house and have some fun. Whatever.

But I just sigh and go, Larry, I appreciate your intentions. I do. But a fake premier party, I dunno. Can’t get it into right now. Sorry.