Ask a televangelist

Dear Dr. Jack Van Impe,
Have you noticed any recent events in Silicon Valley that indicate to you that the end times are upon us? –Hopeful in Mountain View

Dear Hopeful in Mountain View,
Oh I am so glad you asked that question because yes, in fact there have been several very exciting developments lately that have made me even more convinced that the prophesies contained in the Book of Revelation will soon be made real. What first caught my attention was the emergence of the so-called Web 2.0 companies. Now we see the incredible rise to power of the dead-souled Michael Arrington, the so-called “false prophet” whose coming signals the apocalypse. More recently we’ve seen lesser prophets like Om Malik raising money. “Yea, the dark beast shall grow large and rule over the valley.” Revelation 16, verse 2. Hopeful, you must ask yourself, how is it that these obscure, inconsequential men have risen so suddenly and now command millions of acolytes who hang on their every word? How is it that venture capitalists blindly rush to give these men millions of dollars without regard for achieving a return? What hidden forces are at work here? Oh, Hopeful, these are exciting times. The Rapture is upon us. The Lord is astride His white horse and ready to return in glory, wielding His gleaming sword of truth! Keep praying.